I'm not going to try to comment on or draw any personal conclusions about either. I prefer to let the newspaper article and Dr. Grohol's thoughts on it speak for themselves (as indeed I think they do so quite well on their own). I merely felt that both were significant and worthy of posting here, serving to humanize an extremely complex issue that is often just too unsettling for many folks to examine in any depth (until it's too late). I just feel it's one of those things where awareness can potentially be of great benefit and probably can't hurt.
Actually, I do want to call attention to one particular passage from the Journal Sentinel story, but I will let even that speak for itself:
Last year, the official number of suicides by active-duty Army soldiers hit an all-time high at 140. In the first half of this year, the Army reported 129 confirmed or suspected suicides—more than the number of soldiers who died from hostile action during that time.
Suicide by veterans is tougher to pin down, largely because more than 70% of them get their psychiatric care through providers other than the Veterans Administration. But VA officials say suicide is a growing problem.
I happened to read the PsychCentral piece before moving on to the linked Journal Sentinel article, but I don't think the order really matters. The PsychCentral item, being shorter, does serve as a good introductory overview (imo) of the much longer source article, so that's how I'll present them here...
One Soldier's Suicide Story
By Dr. John Grohol of PsychCentral
A soldier's story
By Meg Kissinger of the Milwaukee Wisconsin Journal Sentinel
NOTE: I'm unsure if there are any limitations or online availability issues for the Journal Sentinel article. Some papers only leave items freely accessible for a limited time from the date of publication. I just don't know what the Journal Sentinel's standard is with regard to published stories.
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7 comments:
Such a sad story and not uncommon at all...unfortunately. Thanks so much for posting them.
Thank you, DS. So many versions of this very sad "soldier story" out there, at least as many stories as there are soldiers. And like the articles suggest, each one has its unique angle.
I have been thinking a lot about cognitive dissonance this past week and have in mind to continue blogging about it. My daughter and I have been engaged in dialogue about it. More to come!
Nice to hear from you, as always. Hope you get the computer issues worked out.
Yes, it's a VERY sad story... and on so many levels. All the signs that were missed and also signs that were noticed, but dismissed (even at times belittled), then recalled only after the fact. I am always struck too by the idea of all the uncontrollable circumstances and random quirks of fate that contribute to such a situation.
Ms. Kissinger does a great job of detailing the history of this one case. It's not difficult to see how a military life, in and of itself, offers unique stresses that can deeply affect even the seemingly most hardened of men. And yet that need for toughness and discipline that gets drilled into them can lead to that cognitive dissonance as you say.
It's very easy for others to stand back and offer quick pat "answers." But saying simply "toughen up and get over it" often not only just doesn't help, it actively harms.
I can only hope that such stories become more a part of the public consciousness so that more people in general are aware of the hidden dangers of a military life and in more general terms (not only in the military) just the harm that unthinking comments or looking the other way can do (no matter how unintended).
Not sure that any of that makes much sense, but I'm still battling this cold. The PC situation is on hold until I feel better, but as long as I have my internet access back, that's good enough for now.
Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment, Jenny.
You are welcome, DS. I wonder whether you have seen the movie, In the Valley of Elah. I thought of it as I was reading what you said about how "toughen up and get over it" can harm rather than help.
I didn't finish reading the second article but plan to do that now because I am curious about this man's life. In my family, an uncle who was in the military committed suicide. This happened when I was about 10 years old, but I still remember learning about it. He did not leave a note or any indication of why he did it. We are still perplexed and grieve the loss of him, a beloved brother and (at the time) my favorite uncle.
Jenny: No, I've never seen that movie. It's one where I vaguely recall seeing/hearing the title, but I never really knew anything about it. I may very well Google it later just out of curiosity since you mention it in this context.
It's just my impression that the military mindset often leans towards that sort of mentality. I could always be wrong, of course, but reading things like the Kissinger article does nothing to persuade me I am.
Please allow me to express my condolences with regard to your Uncle. Even though it was quite some time ago, I'm sure many questions not only linger, but will never come close to being answered for your family and that has to be very difficult to come to grips with.
Even as someone with no such personal history involving a loved one's suicide, I will say that as I finished the article I was quite moved by the story, moved with regret and questions as to why at any number of pivotal points something could not have been done to alter the outcome for the young man (and thus also for his family).
Every such story is unique, of course, just as each person who walks this Earth is unique, but still maybe there will be something in there that strikes a chord somehow, or could lead to some small shred of potential understanding in very general terms...
On the other hand, though it's been said many times that "no man is an island" I often think that's wrong. In terms of each person's internal struggles, our fears, anxieties, hopes, dreams, desires, we are all isolated. What would be an easily handled problem for one person might seem utterly insurmountable to another with a different brain chemistry and different life experiences.
There may be some vague general similarities on the face of it all, but in terms of how each of us perceives such, we can't really know what another person is going through. (The closeness of the relationship may help, but not necessarily so.) In that sense we are all on our own. And even this thing we call "communication" often falls very far short of the mark when trying to explain.
Thank you for sharing about your Uncle. I think it's valuable for people to at least mention such things, to not ignore them or try to hide them.
As noted in the post above (in the part I quoted) this appears to be a significant problem in the military ranks, especially as the U.S. efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan linger on so, and yet it's something I think rarely gets widely reported. I doubt that all potential suicidal cases can ever be fully averted, but I do think that the military can probably (and should) make a better effort at providing proper counseling and more general awareness of red flag signs of trouble. Even if it runs counter to the "We're MEN and we can take it!" mentality.
My hope is that articles like Ms. Kissinger's and the shared stories of people like your Uncle will at least serve to further such efforts towards getting proper mental healthcare to our military men and women as they need it. We ask so much of them and put them in such horrible situations at times, we shouldn't wonder that a certain percentage will have problems dealing as a result. It's only human.
Valley of Elah has a Max Martini/The Unit connection in that Wes Chatham (who played the young Unit recruit in the last part of the 4th Season) was in that movie. It was the main reason he was cast as Sam McBride.
Glad you are up and active a little. I hope you get your audio back soon.
As always, thanks Angel. I read the lengthy synopsis of the film on imdb, but did not pick up on such a Unit connection. Of course, from watching The Unit by then I do know to whom you are referring. The movie indeed sounds interesting.
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