I just performed the yearly duty of placing flowers on the graves of departed loved ones for Easter weekend. For me the task involves visiting two cemeteries, one being the old local one right here in my town. I think it's always very interesting to walk around any cemetery and look at various grave markers. There are always some that catch the eye or stand out as unique in some way. (Note that in the interest of privacy I've pixelated the surnames involved in grave photos here.)
Sometimes the items people leave as remembrances seem odd, but they must obviously be things that have a certain significance and conjure up some aspect of the relationship involved. For instance there was a pullover shirt (on a hanger) emblazoned with a small version of the classic naked woman profile you tend to see on truck mudflaps and the text around her said, "Nudiefest XII—Keep It Classy." Not exactly the sort of thing I would have left at a grave under any circumstances, but hey, to each his own, I guess. Regardless of the activity hinted at by the image on the shirt I just think it would be better to give it to someone who could (or would) actually use it. But maybe that's just me. Who am I to judge, right? Right. So moving on...
Then there are the grave markers themselves. There are all sorts of stones from simple to ornate. Sometimes an image of the person is etched right into the granite. Others feature images of tractors or trains or whatever else was somehow important in the person's life.
I'm sure that musical references are not at all uncommon. This one in particular (on the back of a monument) caught my eye as it features the chorus of a favorite Trisha Yearwood song, "I Would've Loved You Anyway" (written by Mary Danna & Troy Verges, ©2001 on Yearwood's Inside Out album on MCA Nashville)...
The song was already very popular just prior to 9/11 of that year and then the events of that day made it especially poignant. It doesn't really have anything to do with death as written, just how relationships don't always work out as people hope. Still, the concept of a relationship where one person is left behind when the partner passes on is not a huge leap to make when putting the lyric into a personal context. (Click the pic to view an official video of the song posted to YouTube by UniversalMusicGroup.)
Next up is a grave from 2002 that I'd never noticed before (probably due mostly to its non-proximity to where I normally roam). Obviously trains were a very important part of this person's life. There's a locomotive etched into the headstone and the plot is outlined in actual rails with railroad spikes attached in some places, mostly the corners. There's a toy box car mounted on the front rail. Definitely unique...
Last up is one which I found very odd for my taste. I'm sure that in the past I've occasionally expressed my distaste for the sheer ubiquitousness of advertising in our modern world. I recognize that it's, if not a necessary part of everyday life, at least a part which is not going away anytime soon, if ever. However, when advertsing reaches out from beyond the grave, that's when I have to think maybe it's gone too far!
Actually, I'm just kidding. This gravestone isn't something that I would like (even if it was a store I "loved"), but obviously this person really enjoyed or was in some way tied to WaWa convenience stores. There's a small Christmas tree placed in front covered in WaWa logos. And etched right into the stone is the image of a cup with the chain's slogan "My WaWa"...
Now again, it's not for me to determine what's right or appropriate in such matters. Obviously WaWa stores were an important or enjoyable part of this man's life. Or perhaps he was even an employee of some kind within the chain. I have no idea.
Personally I can't think of any company or product off the top of my head that I would even begin to consider placing on my future headstone. Song or book quotes or even hobby/career representations, maybe, but nothing crossing that imaginary line into outright advertising of a company or product. I suppose also if I were to become well-known or famous for some association with a product or company in some professional capacity (like say, a CEO), then again maybe, but at this point in my life the odds of such circumstances coming about are extremely slim so as to be practically nil.
And again, it's not so much that I'm criticizing, I'm just saying that this sort of thing wouldn't be for me and I simply find it somewhat puzzling. But if others are fine with it, then I don't suppose there's anything inherently wrong with it.
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5 comments:
Brite Nightgown, Brite Nightgown, you don't fight wit da fella in the brite nightgown...
What uh...unusual headstones you have in your home town area. :-)
Neat look at what other people do, to/with their dearly departed. I would hope this was done with the permission (in advance) of the now departed.
Bit over the top, to me, but hey...
Me again...
I see your feet reflecting in the first headstone. :-)
I too would hope some of these were done with the departed loved one's permission/acceptance beforehand, but you never know.
The railroad one is especially unique, of course. Would love to know the story behind it. It had to cost a pretty penny to do all that or even just to obtain the rail pieces.
The thing is that at that cemetery there actually ARE rules re what people are allowed to do and what they can't---they've just never been widely disseminated or strictly enforced. But now the caretakers are starting to try to crack down and that will cause some massive grumbling, I'm sure.
Technically, all the plot fences and knick-knacks are not allowed. The thing is that people have put on whatever they wanted through the years and one family sees what someone else has done and says, "Well, if they can do that, then surely I can do this." Before long you end up with the "Sanford & Son" lot.
Me, I've always believed in simple and tasteful, that "more" is not necessarily "better." But again, to each his own, diff'rent strokes, etc...
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And yes, those are my legs. I didn't realize I'd gotten in the shot until I got home and transferred the pic from my camera. Some of those shiny headstones cause a lot of reflection issues! Plus, I was standing right up against one of those fenced-in grave plots and I didn't want to actually step into the plot, so I just took the shot from where I was.
At least my legs aren't interfering with the main thrust of the message on the stone, so that's something. Hey, I never claimed I was a pro photog.
:-)
I love them there. No worries, they help make the picture. :-)
BTW: Does your cemetary do "blankets" made of Evergreen? My Dad used to buy a blanket for my Mom's grave during the holidays. It's not a thing that I see out here in LA.
Yes, indeed. Evergreen blankets usually with some pine cones, maybe some plastic decorative poinsettia flowers/leaves or holly and a bow of some kind, perhaps one or two other decorative thingies of some sort too. Not everyone does blnakets---some folks do tripod-mounted wreaths or anything else which they like, but traditional grave blankets seem to be the standard for the most part.
Years ago Mom used to make her own using snippets of branches from our pine trees and various decorations she'd add on. But when it got to be too much for her in later years, she started buying the blankets from a local place that does a real nice job. Of course it used to be just one for her parents grave (the set of grandparents I never really knew), now I have two do three, one for each set of grandparents and one for Mom & Dad.
At the local cemetery usually my neighbor across the street helps out with removing all the Christmas stuff from the graves before Spring and Easter, but since he's traveling this year I volunteered to help with the aid of borrowing his pickup truck. When you have to help pile all that stuff and then load it into trucks to cart back to the dumpster to be filled is when you realize just how much money is invested in such things! And it's a fairly small cemetery compared to many.
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